But All Good Things Must Come To An End...
A natural occurrence, a violent end, a national tragedy…
WHO CARES!
This weekly list has been complied by a sophisticated algorithm that takes into account several factors, such as annoyance, impact on the planet, their age, occupation, and how much better off we, the human race, would be without them.
With malice toward none, charity for all, and for god sakes, get rid of these people… we would like your input as to determining causes, and your feedback on how accurate you think we are in our forecast for the tragic losses that should occur during 2007.
This list includes “celebrities” (that ever evolving group of morons who somehow become tabloid fodder and personal idiocies which are then thrust upon us as if it were actual news.) These are the people who tell us how to vote, put out their own cologne, and waste valuable resources, such as oxygen.
The list also includes “public figures” such as politicians, cabinet members, and other generally annoying figures that take money and say what they’re told. On this list are the morons who find it somewhat entertaining to screw the planet and find clever ways to scare the living crap out of us, while at the same time, driving us completely mad with the constant hammering home of our polite irrelevance.
The list also has “athletes” who should really give most of their salary back and keep their mouth shut.
There are some random people on here who simply don’t fall into any category, yet, I’m going to predict their demise anyhow.
And last but not least, we have compiled a list of people who should really die again; a second death, because their lives were so atrocious that their death the first time around was just so much damn fun that it deserves to be repeated.
-disclaimer
We hope you enjoy, of course, all in good fun, and every bit of it is true, expect for the lies.
With malice toward none, charity for all, and for god sakes, get rid of these people… we would like your input as to determining causes, and your feedback on how accurate you think we are in our forecast for the tragic losses that should occur during 2007.
This list includes “celebrities” (that ever evolving group of morons who somehow become tabloid fodder and personal idiocies which are then thrust upon us as if it were actual news.) These are the people who tell us how to vote, put out their own cologne, and waste valuable resources, such as oxygen.
The list also includes “public figures” such as politicians, cabinet members, and other generally annoying figures that take money and say what they’re told. On this list are the morons who find it somewhat entertaining to screw the planet and find clever ways to scare the living crap out of us, while at the same time, driving us completely mad with the constant hammering home of our polite irrelevance.
The list also has “athletes” who should really give most of their salary back and keep their mouth shut.
There are some random people on here who simply don’t fall into any category, yet, I’m going to predict their demise anyhow.
And last but not least, we have compiled a list of people who should really die again; a second death, because their lives were so atrocious that their death the first time around was just so much damn fun that it deserves to be repeated.
-disclaimer
We hope you enjoy, of course, all in good fun, and every bit of it is true, expect for the lies.
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